The Gym: Why do they do that?

You know I was there, pedalling away, at the gym and my mind wandered off for a moment.

I was thinking about the personalities and what they were all striving to achieve. Super fit, packing on the muscle or probably, like me, just trying to prevent middle age spread. I did say trying!

Thoughts continued on to those things that can irritate, don't know why they just did. Some for no real reason, others more obvious. But, every time I go Its the same things and I cant help wonder why. Why do they do that?

So, pop pickers, here's my Top Ten: (In no particular order - cue X Factor)

1. Leaving sweaty hand grips on the equipment (Yuk - wipe it off!)

2. Talking, sorry, shouting to your mate across numerous shower cubicles. (I couldn't give a hoot about what you want to do with your girlfriend tonight)

3. Talking loudly on a mobile, to impress your mates, in the changing rooms (although the last time this happened, at the end, his girlfriend was insistent that he say those famous three words. Out loud of course! #suddenly quieter.

4. Having a shave with no clothes on. (C'mon guys, what's all that about?)

5. Drying your pubes with a hair dryer. (If that does it for you, please do it at home. Not in public.)

6. Doing a work out, changing then standing outside having a fag. (Is there any point?)

7. Walking past the mirrors on the way to shower..looking at your self. (It's the same body as when you walked in, only sweatier!)

8. Coming out of the pool and leaving that same pool of water in front of the locker. (Oh good, so when you put on clean trousers they'll sweep nicely through it. Dry yourself off fella!)

9. Stretching all of your kit across the bench and then giving you the bird when you ask to share it...just a little bit. 120 lockers and 8 benches, you do the maths)

But my best one has to be:

10. Dropping the weights on the floor after a rep, when they are clearly too heavy for you. (Nope, the pretty blonde isn't impressed, neither is the maintenance man.)

I like the gym really, but by god there are some personalities. Or am I just getting old?

Regards, Victor Meldrew.

It Was All a Misunderstanding!

Like many of us we have been gripped by the most recent cycling achievements. We rejoiced at Bradley Wiggins' victory in the Tour de France. We celebrated the likes of Chris Hoy (again), Victoria Pendleton and all in the Olympics. We enjoyed the success as it showed great achievement in a sport that, until recently, was one that was overshadowed by others sports.

The sport is now firmly etched in to people's minds. Bike sales, say Halfords, have increased by some 30% post Olympics. There are now even more MAMIL's out there than ever.

All this, though, has been tarnished by events, or should I say one man. Lance Armstrong.

My love for cycling was re kindled by this man. I was influenced by his (at the time) moving and very motivating book "Its not about the bike". A book where he described his drive and desire to win at all costs. This of course made no mention of taking EPO or having blood transfusions to win his Tour de France victories.

I personally, got sucked in to the witch hunt theory. Surely no one individual can do this for so long with all the tests that go into the sport. Now, it has been proven and I can only reflect in dis belief that this man is a fraud and has tricked us all.

Time will tell whether the evidence of further doping within the US 8 year Statute of Limitations is proven. If it is then we will see the media circus jump on what will ultimately lead to criminal proceedings. The truth needs to be aired in its totality. And really you have to question, if you have done something so rigidly for all those years why would you then stop in the subsequent years?

Question marks over a £60,000 payment to the UCI? Because they didn't have any money or was it anything to the erased blood test in Switzerland? Tales also of a backdated prescription to explain another test? Read into it all this as you wish and come to your own conclusions.

I've followed all this with great interest. After all he was a hero to me, he influenced a part of my life but now I'm just left feeling so disappointed that he cheated the sport so badly. More importantly he cheated himself and has dragged cycling through the mire at a time when it strives so hard to clean itself up. I feel for the cyclists that have earned so much respect over the last year who are now, potentially, tarnished by this reputation.

But over and above this. Over and above all the news coverage, the reports, the investigations and the charade that was the Oprah interview, there is something that sticks in my mind.

The bit that really sticks, like a sceptic arrow, is that after all of this Lance Armstrong is sorry.

Not sorry for what he did, but for being caught.